Weigh In/Working Out

So today I kind of slept in. I couldn't sleep last night. Thoughts of different things kept rolling thru my head and I just couldn't get to sleep till after 2:30. My alarm went off at 6, but I didn't get up till 8. But an amazing thing happened today. I woke up and actually looked forward to working out! I wanted to get out of bed and go do it right away. I had some ideas flowing for why I want to lose weight, the reasons I've been trying to and some other strange ideas. Too many to go into here, and a little strange, so I won't get into it. But I have my own little private goal that I'm just not gonna mention. I think part of the problem is opening my mouth to other people, then they have all these high expectations of me. So I'm just not gonna ruin it. It'll be my own little secret. :) But let me tell you, as I was working out this morning, I pushed myself like I have never done before. So something finally clicked. I also thought about what I did wrong last night at bowling. I did so good with my food portions, but stupid me, I drank (2) 32 oz. Pepsi's! I'm not a big tap water fan, it just tastes nasty with the chlorine. But I wasn't thinking about the vending machine with the bottled water! DUH!!! So next time I need to remember to look for bottled water before Pepsi. One of those habits that I've had for so long (Pepsi with bowling - kind of like pizza and beer for some people). So now I need to break it. Anyway, I just had to get on here and share how excited I am! I haven't felt this good and this motivated in quite a while.

Hi!

Well, I've been so obsessed with myspace lately, I've been ignoring the blog that everyone else can see who's not on myspace. :) Not a whole lot of new stuff has been going on, just the typical family stuff and working on the yard a little here and there. I've lost a bit of my ambition as far as the yard goes. We were so gung ho the first few weeks of nice weather, I just got burned out. So now I'm trying to get refocused on it, but it's hard. We're also having some issues with the contractor who owns the lot behind us. He decided to tear down a section of the fence to rebuild it on part of our lot, but he did it without telling us. So there's been some stress there.

I'm also at kind of a low point in my life right now with my self esteem. I've been trying and trying to succeed at Weight Watchers, but for some reason I just can't focus. So I've decided to take a break from it, and just try things on my own once again. I'm actually doing better the last few days. We even had a potluck for the last night of bowling tonight and I controlled myself really well. I was actually really impressed with myself on my eating. I didn't even fill my plate! I think I was putting too much thought into WW, but not enough common sense. So I'm working on it. Maybe one of these days I'll be skinny again. I'm needing that self confidence boost. I think being a stay at home mom has affected me a little too. I have fallen into that whole scene of "I don't have to go to work, so why bother fixing myself up everyday". So I've decided even if I don't go anywhere, I'm gonna start taking care of myself again. I'm gonna fix my hair and do as I would if I were heading out to church or somewhere nice. It's amazing how much it's made me feel better the last few days. I know, it sounds kind of stupid, but hey, if it works, I'm all for it. I'm just hoping that I get back to being skinny and have it boost my emotional state. It's amazing how being over weight makes you feel really crappy all the time.

Well, enough about that. Just had to vent in writing a bit I guess. :) I hope you are all doing well and having a great summer! I would love to hear from anyone I may know out there! Till next time...