Will I ever get skinny again???

OK, so here I sit again, completely frustrated. I set a goal for myself, again. Once again, I don't meet it. This is becoming a bad habit & it's really starting to affect me negatively. The AdvoCare didn't work for me, because I can't take vitamins in the morning. They wreak havoc on my stomach, so I have to take them at night. Well, with the 24 Day Challenge, you have to take them certain times of the day. So I couldn't finish the challenge. So I decided to do it my own way. Well, for some stupid reason, I can't seem to focus. I did set up a goal for working out however. I never made it to 100 days in a row of working out before because I got sick. So I set that goal once again for myself. Today was day 18. I'm doing great with the workouts. I have been looking forward to them everyday, except today. I got on the scale & it just hurts to see it move up, not down. I've never cried while working out, but it happened today. The first half mile, that's all I could do. But I pushed myself & made it 4 miles. I still don't feel much better, but at least I did it. I just can't seem to get the eating part down. I think the thing that is so frustrating to me, is that I know how to do it, I just can't tell my brain to do it. So I'm eating the same as always, crappy, but working out, and the scale is still going up. Not sure how to fix my brain.

And then there's the BMI thing. I am considered obese according to the body mass index chart. I have to lose 13.2 pounds to just be considered overweight. Who decides this thing? I wouldn't consider myself obese, but when it tells me that, that's frustrating too. So, what do I do? I'm not sure. When I figure that out, I'll let ya know!

4-2-11 (209.7) (+2.9) (Total loss 2.6) (-1.2%) (BMI: 31.9)
3-26-11 (206.8) (-2) (Total loss 5.5) (-2.6%) (BMI: 31.4)
3-19-11 (208.8) (+2.6) (Total loss 3.5) (-1.6%) (BMI: 31.7)
3-12-11 (206.2) (+2.3) (Total loss 6.1) (-2.9%) (BMI: 31.3)
3-5-11 (203.9) (-8.4) (Total loss 8.4) (-4%) (BMI: 31)
2-17-11 (212.3) (BMI: 32.3) (Highest in 2011, STARTING OVER)

11-4-10 (209.8) (+2.1) (Total loss 2.8) (-1.3%) (BMI: 31.9)
11-1-10 (207.7) (+.7) (Total loss 4.9) (-2.3%) (BMI: 31.6)
10-1-10 (207) (-.3) (Total loss 5.6) (-2.6%) (BMI: 31.5)
9-2-10 (207.3) (+6) (Total loss 5.3) (-2.5%) (BMI: 31.5)
8-1-10 (201.3) (-4.1) (Total loss 11.3) (-5.3%) (BMI: 30.6)
7-2-10 (205.4) (+.8) (Total loss 7.2) (-3.4%) (BMI: 31.2)
6-3-10 (204.6) (+5.3) (Total loss 8) (-3.8%) (BMI: 31.1)
5-1-10 (199.3) (+7.6) (Total loss 13.3) (-6.3%) (BMI: 30.3)
4-1-10 (191.7) (+2.6) (Total loss 20.9) (-9.8%) (BMI: 29.1)
3-1-10 (189.1) (+3.9) (Total loss 23.5) (-11.1%) (BMI: 28.7)
2-7-10 (185.2) (-1.6) (Total loss 27.4) (-12.9%) (BMI: 28.2) (Week 1)
1-31-10 (186.8) (-.5) (Total loss 25.8) (-12.1%) (BMI: 28.4) (New start)
1-1-10 (187.3) (+1.1) (Total loss 25.3) (-11.9%) (BMI: 28.5)
12-1-09 (186.2) (-1) (Total loss 26.4) (-12.4%) (BMI: 28.3)
11-1-09 (187.2) (+15.3) (Total loss 25.4) (-11.9%) (BMI: 28.5) (Starting over)

3-11-09 (164.4) (-7.5) (Total loss 48.2) (-22.7%) (BMI: 25) (Week 31-lowest)
2-5-09 (171.9) (+5.6) (Total loss 40.7) (-19.1%) (BMI: 26.1) (Week 26)
1-1-09 (173) (-.7) (Total loss 39.6) (-18.6%) (BMI: 26.3) (Week 21)
12-4-08 (172.1) (-0) (Total loss 40.5) (-19%) (BMI: 26.2) (Week 17)
11-7-08 (176.8) (+1.2) (Total loss 35.8) (-16.8%) (BMI: 26.9) (Week 13)
10-3-08 (185) (-2.7) (Total loss 27.6) (-13%) (BMI: 28.1) (Week 8)
9-5-08 (195.7) (-1.3) (Total loss 16.9) (-7.9%) (BMI: 29.8) (Week 4)
8-5-08 (212.6) (Start) (BMI: 32.3)